Brandon and I have been together since I was 16 and he was 15 years old. We went to elementary school, middle school and high school together but he was one grade younger. When Brandon tells the story of how our relationship started he alway says that he saw me at a dance and fell in love at first sight. For me, it was when he messaged me on my 16th birthday that I knew I wanted him to be my boyfriend. After that, the rest is history.
Brandon and I have a very special relationship because we have been together for so long that we have literally watched each other grow up, Our hobbies have changed over the years but our relationship has remained constant. The unique thing about our relationship is that we are complete opposites in absolutely everything. We have different upbringings, values, hobbies, tv interests and outlooks on life. While that can be frustrating at times, I love how it adds an element on surprise into our relationship.
Over the years, being in a relationship with my polar opposite has been difficult because I would let our disagreements get in the way. It wasn’t until I discovered the concept of Love Languages that our relationship has grown bigger and better. The idea behind Love Languages is that there are 5 languages (Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gifts and Quality Time) and you will identify with one or more of these. Your partner, however, may identify with a different language which means that they need to be loved in a different way than you do. To have a successful relationship you and your partner need to understand each others love language and give them love in that way that they need it.
My Love Language is Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service. This means that, to love me, words are the way to my heart. Love letters, I love you’s and texts that say “Good Morning Beautiful” are all that I need from you to validate our love. Additionally, with acts of service it is all about helping me out. For ex: carry my bag when it is heavy, hold the door open for me etc.
Brandon’s Love Language is Quality Time and Physical Touch. For him, he needs quality time without any distractions or cell phones. This means just being there for him while we watch his favorite show or even just hanging out in the back yard with him on a Saturday afternoon. With physical touch, it all about holding hands at every chance we get.
It wasn’t until I discovered Love Languages that our relationship changed. Before that, I wasn’t sure why some days I wouldn’t feel loved when I knew he was making an effort. The issue, I would later come to find out, was that he was trying in the ways he knew best (aka. his love languages). Now that we both are able to identify our love languages we are able to communicate our needs better and love each other in the way that we both need.
Take the love languages quiz here: What is your Love Language?